Losing My Mind!

  Today has been a long day in just a little while this morning. Today is a lesson on how crappy your kids can make you feel. I might have had a little bit of a blow out with my girls today. When my husband tells them to do something they do it without complaining too much and they actually do it. When I tell them to do something they have to sit there and complain and pout and when it comes down to it, never end up doing it. Well I finally had enough today. I told them that they weren't allowed to watch TV or play with toys or anything until they can explain to me why they listen and do what Daddy says, but they won't do what I say. The only thing they could come up with is that I need to give them more consequences and be harder on them. I always tried not to be too hard on them because I don't want to be like my mom was.  Also when we had my Brother-in-law, his wife and their 3 kids all staying with us they kept telling my husband how I was being TOO hard on the kids. That I needed to figure out how to deal with them without being so hard on them. Well apparently that isn't working either. So now I am confused and need to figure out what everyone wants me to do. I am at my wits end and I am feeling really horrible about myself and trying to figure out how I can be a good mother when I can't even get my own kids to listen to anything I say? I feel like there is no reason for me to be here and be around when I can't even get my kids to listen to me or behave. I want to just curl up and hide for about a week and not have anyone asking why I didn't have the kids do the things they are supposed to and have anyone ignoring me. Just hide and do whatever I want.

Long day with SNOW

It has been a long day. I did work on the blanket a little bit, but I really didn't make much progress on much else today. It snowed and was crappy out all day and school got out early so it was a house full of kids and me and the Hubby. No real way for anyone to get out much today. So kids were just getting on my nerves. I am hoping that it's better out tomorrow so 2 out of 3 kids can be gone at school all day and the Hubby can go to work. Don't get me wrong I love my husband and my kids, but I need time without a houseful to do things that I need and want to do. I am really hoping that tomorrow goes better then today.

So Many Projects

Well, since I have been on here I have so many different projects going on all at once. I had a son about a year and a half ago and I started a blanket for him before he was born. Ya, needless to say it's not done yet. I am getting close though. I have become friends with the wonderful ladies of the church the kids go to Kids Club at, and one of them had a spare sewing machine that she let me borrow. So that helped me to make a lot of progress on it in a shorter period of time. Now if I can make the initiative to finish the last I need to do to finish before Christmas time. Time is running out on that one. So I need to really sit down and work on it when the kids go to bed and quit putting it off so much.

Starting up again

Okay I am going to try and start this up again. Hopefully one of these times I can keep up with this and not leave such long gaps in the posting on here. Wish me luck.

Extreme Apology

I want to let all of you who are followers that I am utterly sorry that there hasn't been any posts and updates on here in so long. We lost our internet services for quite awhile. But we have been able to get it back finally. Hopefully we will be able to keep it this time. My husband has had a lot of ups and downs with his employment status. But he has finally aquired an occupation that he is doing well at and doesn't mind so much. The down side of it is that he is gone all week long and comes home about every other weekend or so. So we don't get to see him that often. But we got him a laptop and a webcam for the computer here at the house and do video chats with him at night before our girls go to bed. That way they can see him as well as talk to him every night. I do have some news that we found out yesterday, I am expecting again. I will be due sometime around the 20th of April 2012. The girls are excited. My oldest is 7 years old now and has obviously gone through this once already. She just hopes it's a boy this time so she can have a brother. Our other daughter is only 2 years old, so she doesn't quite understand it all yet. But I think she will do fine. Right now I do have alot on my plate too. Since I am pregnant again I want to kick it up a notch on our little one's potty training. I would like to get her trained before the new baby gets here. Otherwise I am worried that she will fight it a lot with everything going on with a new baby in the house and everything. I am working on trying to get the house in decent order before I get too far along with me being high risk and everything. Hopefully if I can get it all done and put together around here it won't be too hard to keep up with it. With me being high risk pregnancy I am trying to take it easy and not over do it all, but it's not going to be easy with being the only one home with a 7 and 2 year old by myself most of the time. I just need to find someone to watch them for me when I have my appointments when my husband isn't home. Anyway I will attempt to get back into the swing of things on here now that we are up and running again. I hope that everyone out there is doing will and I will post again another time.

Alot On The Plate

I am still trudging along on the housework. I am going to be getting a little more wore out here in the next few days though. My Husband went to get our 9mo old out of her crib and noticed that there was a bottle in there with her. I know you really shouldn't give a baby a bottle to go to sleep with. But it's the one way that I can get a little extra sleep at night. I rock her to sleep, then if (I mean "when") she wakes up at night, then I would give her a bottle and she would got right back to sleep and therefore so could I. Well he found the bottle and said that we are not going to get her into that habit. She needs to learn that when it's bed time she needs to stay sleeping. But I hate to tell him, even without the bottle at night, she will still wake up at night. Which I don't completely understand with her anyway. She used to sleep through the night. But then when we started her on baby food and rice cereal along with the formula she started waking up at night again. I am not sure why, but she does. Either way, since we are not going to get her into the habit of getting a bottle at night after she's put to bed, I will be up alot more at night trying to get her back to sleep. Last night I think I was up about 4-5 times throughout the night. It was a little rough this morning at 5:30am when I had to get my Husband up and ready for work. But I suppose like everything else, I will eventually get used to it. One thing that I would like to work on for this summer is learning how to can and preserve things. I know my Husband likes to have a garden. But this last year, the slugs were bad for one, so we lost alot, and secondly we didn't get things eaten fast enough so it ended up having to be thrown out. So I want to look into canning and preserving things so we can actually keep them and use them when we need to instead of only a little bit and then having to throw the rest out. Plus it would cut down on groceries a little. There is just so much to do and so many things going through my head the past couple of days that I am not sure how to manage it all. I am kind of to the point of just being out of it lately. I zone out alot. My Husband kept asking me last night, if I was okay, or if there was something wrong. There really isn't anything "wrong" persay, it's just that there is so much going on and so much to do that I am going into robot stage. I am expected to remember everything and take care of everything. So it all falls on my shoulders. Then my Husband and his brother that lives with us, will talk to each other about things that effect the whole house and I am not included in the conversations till they are done talking and have things figured out. Then I get told what I am going to be doing. It's almost as though I don't have much of a say in what I do. I don't know, it's just alot on my plate and not alot of options right now. Just kind of do what I can and keep going I guess.

Catching Up Slowly

Well I have been slowly working on things and the house is getting a little better and staying that way longer then it used to. I was hoping to have a little more time with the Husband this weekend, but of course that's not going to happen. We got to spend a little bit of time together today. But not much. But he did spend a decent amount of time with our 5 year old, which is good. They don't get to spend much time together either. But tomorrow he will be getting up early in the morning to go and help his brother and his dad out with some hauling thing that they're doing. So we won't really see him tomorrow. But I suppose I can use that time to get stuff done around the house here with him being gone. As long as I don't let myself get distracted too much. That's one of my biggest problems. I get distracted easily when no one else is here at times. I spend too much time on Facebook, or CafeMom, or sitting around watching episodes of Desperate Housewives. But I am getting better though. I do manage to shut it off part way through an episode and get moving on working on the house. Hopefully I can get better at not screwing up too. I have been doing that alot lately. I somehow managed to lose 2 black hills gold lockets that my Husband and my 5 year old had given to me a couple different Christmas'. I am not sure how I managed to lose them, but I did. They aren't where I remember putting them last and I haven't been able to find them yet. My Husband told me not to get too worked up about it because there are alot more important things then necklaces. But I can't help but feel bad about it. Then I made some flavored coffee in the coffee maker and didn't wash it out good enough I guess. Because when he went to drink his coffee this morning he could taste a little of the flavoring in it. Then here, just a min ago he asked me to make him some more koolaid. Well, he likes the orange koolaid, only a little less strong then most. Well I couldn't make it the way we usually do because I accidentally grabbed Tang last time I went to get some instead of orange koolaid. I just can't seem to do much right lately. Hopefully things start to get better. Wish me luck.

Break In the Updates

To start out, I would like to apologize for the break in the updates. We had lost our internet here for a couple of days, so I was unable to get online to do anything. But then, to look at it in a possitive way, it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. It was one less distraction in the housework and the homemaker process. The other day I was really unable to do anything around the house other then do my best to take care of the baby. This weekend I ended up getting sick on Sun. We had gone to the birthday party for a friend's daughter. When we got home, I couldn't hold it in any longer. So needless to say I was not feeling well. But a woman's work is never done though. I still got supper for my 5 year old while my Husband watched one of his TV shows that he likes. Along with dealing with a baby that had bad teething diapers and so she had a very red butt. I did get better and my baby is also doing better. But when I was getting better, my husband called while he was at work and informed me that he was getting sick. So my days have been pretty full around here and they're not going to get better yet. I have spent the last couple days taking care of my husband like he was one of the kids. He wraps up on the couch and I do what he asks of me. So that is almost a full time job in itself. So I have been taking care of him and the baby and the 5 year old and the house for the past couple of days. This morning he went to work, but my brother-in-law came home from work this morning because he's not feeling good now. So, even if my husband isn't here, I still might have a full time job. But the house is getting better, so hopfully I can keep it up till I get it completely overhauled and then it should be just basic pick up and stuff to keep it looking nice and I might actually find time for myself before midnight. But then again, that is the joyful life of a Homemaker. Hope everyone who follows and reads this is doing well.

More Overwhelming

Well I need to sit down and do some organizing and figuring on things here. I need to figure out a way to not get so overwhelmed with everything, get everything done, have time with my husband and kids and still have some down time as well. The past couple of days my Husband has been adding things that he wants me to do on a daily basis. I am also thinking that even though he doesn't want me doing it, because it's the man's job, I am going to have to take out the garbage. I have bagged it up and set it in the hallway by the entryway door, and it has sat there for about 3-4 days now. I am tired of it sitting there. I am not sure why they see it as so hard to grab a bag as they're on their way out the door and drop it in the garbage can which is right outside the door. So I am not sure how I am going to juggle everything and have any time to do anything else other then clean and take care of my two kids, my husband and his brother that lives with us. So I have been looking into the FLYLady thing. I have been told that it's really good and have read some testimonials of people who it really seemed to work for. So if I could impliment it into my routine and stick to it, it might help me to get the house clean, keep it clean and have time to work on all the other things that my Husband wants me to get done every day. I just get so overwhelmed and upset so easy when I constantly have him and others always coming up to me and telling how I should be doing this and doing that every day. When they don't have anything extra to do other then their out of the home job. Yes I understand that I am the housewife/homemaker and it's my job to take care of the home and everything. But that doesn't mean that they can keep piling on more things for me to do on a daily basis, then come home and ask why I didn't get things done. Then I feel worse because I worked my butt off getting done what I could, wore out, sore back and feet and feel bad that I didn't get the things done they wanted. Plus I feel like I have no reason to say anything about being sore when they are out working with cows or at a factory on their feet and stuff all day. I feel like they have more of a right to be sore and vocalize it then I do. I feel like I should just paint on a smile, nod my head and say yes I see, I am sorry you feel like that, is there anything I can do? And do what I can to forget about my soreness and exhaustion. That's what I feel like lately. But yet I still keep getting things piled onto my plate of things to do. Will it ever get easier? I hope so.

Wake Up Call

I have been doing my best here as a newbie in the Homemaker business. I thought I was making decent progress. I have been for the most part keeping up with the housework portion of it. The main time that it gets a little slacked on is when I am sitting with the 8mo old when she's not feeling good or when I am not feeling very well. But even then I try to at least do a little bit when I can. But I got a slap in the face yesterday on the housekeeping part of the job. I was watching a friend's 3 year old for them yesterday so they could go get a haircut and do some other things without having to have their daughter tagging along and trying to get into things. No big deal for me because I have watched her before and she is usually good for me anyway. She wasn't bad this time either, but she sure made me feel like a horrible housekeeper/homemaker. She was sitting there playing while I was taking the Christmas tree down and looks at me and says, "You need to clean your house." I couldn't believe it. I was in shock that a 3 year old told me I needed to clean my house. I knew that it wasn't in the greatest shape at the time because I had woke up with a cold the day before and my husband didn't really want me doing anything because I felt like crap. But I didn't think it was that bad. I know I shouldn't take what a 3 year old says too personally. But the way I look at it is if a 3 year old thinks it's messy then it has to be bad. That just makes me feel like I am doing a horrible job. So I started yesterday doing what I could while she was here and then kept going after she left. I started cleaning. Even though I felt like crap with my cold and all I started in on it good. I moved all the furnature in the livingroom and dining room and vacuumed all in those rooms. I picked up all the toys which of course got spread back out again. Washed all the dishes that were there last night. Pulled out everything under the oven. I pulled the whole drawer out and washed it out and washed all the pans that were in it. While I had the drawer pulled out I moved the whole stove itself and cleaned the floor that was under it. Washed all the clothes that were in the laundry room. I was on a role. I tell you what, even though I wasn't able to do my fitness DVD yesterday I am sure I got a work out anyway. I was so sore and sweaty by the time I decided to call it quits for the day. My body is still a little achy today. But I have ALOT more to do still around this house to get into tip top shape. I am hell bend on doing a complete, thorough, top to bottom cleaning of this house no matter how long it takes. I will have to take a little time off tomorrow bacause I have to run some errands in town. But aside from that and tending to the kids and making supper, I am going to be on house cleaning duty. All I know is by the time I am done with it all, I might be asking the husband for a total body massage. I am sure I will need it.

Holidays Are Almost Done

Well, we managed to make it through Christmas. We didn't go anywhere like my Husband had originally wanted which was a good thing because we didn't have the money to spare to go anywhere and still get presents for the kids. So we did manage to get a little extra money to get presents for our two girls and the family and friend's kids. As long as the kids got something that's all that mattered. We don't care if we get anything. It's the kids that can do with the presents rather then us. I have gotten a little bit progress with my aprons that I was making for me and my oldest daughter. But I have been slowing down a little bit because I am running low on thread. I have slacked a little on my housework, but have tried to keep up a little bit over Christmas. My brother-in-law tried to tell me that I wasn't supposed to do any dishes or work on Christmas. I tried to tell him that I needed to do dishes if I was going to be doing any cooking for supper. He tried to argue that I wasn't supposed to work on Christmas, it just wasn't right. So I turned it around and told him that if I wasn't supposed to work then I didn't have to cook supper. Then he decided it was fine for me to do things. Since we didn't have the turkey we had thawed out for Christmas I made baked chicken with mashed potatoes. But we had it thawed out the next day, so we had the turkey the day after Christmas. I managed to do better with this turkey then I did on Thanksgiving. The one I made here the day after Christmas was the perfect golden brown and just falling apart. Not dried out or anything. I was proud of myself. I am hoping to get caught up with all the house work again here sometime soon. Then maybe I can slow down a little again and enjoy at least a slight amount of down time. I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas and I hope that everyone has a great New Year as well.

Smell of Pie

Today was a semi productive day. I did get my dishes washed as usual, cleaned the counters and swept. So I got most of the kitchen done. I had to do a little rearranging with my 5 year old's books today. My 8 month old is pulling herself up to the shelf with the books and pulling them down. So I got them up higher so she couldn't reach them. I don't mind her playing with books. But the ones with regular pages she will just rip into pieces anyway. Today while I was in the kitchen I took some apples that we had at the house here that needed to be used and made a pie with them. This is only the second apple pie that I have made in my life. I had found a recipe for a Dutch Apple Pie. So I decided to make it. As far as the Husband and his brother have said I did good. Tomorrow is when I am going to make a pumpkin pie using my grandma's pumpkin pie spice recipe. So I am hoping that turns out as well. But everyone else in the house is asleep, so I should shut things down for tonight and curl up on the couch and go to sleep. My Husband fell asleep on the couch watching a movie tonight and I can't sleep in the bed without him. Our couch is one of those corner sectional ones. So I am going to sleep on the other section from him with my head by his. We'll see if he wakes up at some point. Sometimes he does and we go to bed, but sometimes he doesn't. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Anyhoo...I need to get some sleep myself if I am going to get any cleaning done tomorrow and get that pie made and some cookies too.

Catch Up

Well I think today was kind of a catch up day. I kind of let things around here slide this last weekend. I was trying to spend some much needed time with the Husband. It was just me, him and the kids this weekend. So I didn't have to compete for his attention from his brother or his friends or anyone. Don't get me wrong, I think it's good for him to spend time with his family (even the one that lives with us), and his friends. But there are times when we are supposed to spend time together and he ends up running around with his friends or his brother or someone. Something almost always comes up with someone else that makes him have to leave when we are supposed to be spending time together. So I enjoyed the little bit of time that we actually spent together this weekend. We really don't get that much time together. So as I mentioned, I kind of let things slide around here. So the kitchen looked horrid, and the livingroom/diningroom didn't look much better. It didn't help that while the baby was sleeping I drug out everything to get presents wrapped. So I had all that stuff strewn all over the place too. But I got my butt moving today and got the kitchen pretty well cleaned up. Counters cleaned off, floor swept. Got the livingroom/diningroom picked up and vacuumed. The house went from horrid mess, to not so bad. So I think I did pretty good myself for catching up that much in one day. So it went over good in my opinion anyway. Now it's time to feed the army and clean up at least a little after they all get done (everyone eats at different times). Then it should be a little chill time before it's lights out and then up to do it another day.

Progress

Well it's been a long day or two. Things with the homemaking are going okay. Not super great, but okay. Which is fine for me. Becoming a Homemaker is something that you can't do just over a night or two. It takes time. I have been getting the dishes done and the kitchen swept at the very least every day. I am making some decent progress on my apron as well. Plus my daughter wanted me to make one for her too. So I am actually making 2 aprons at the moment. It's amaizing what you can do with the fabric of old clothing. That's what I am using to make the aprons. I am using parts from old clothes that don't fit us anymore and fabric from a comforter that fell apart. They're not perfect, but I think they're turning out well considering I am a beginner at sewing and I don't have a sewing machine, so this is all being done by hand. My husband has been a little better the last day or so. He is a little less distant than he has been. I like it that he is getting better too. I hope he continues on the track he is on. Today will be interesting. I am going to try and make a chicken in a crockpot. We have a couple of frozen chickens in the freezer that my father-in-law gave to us. So I am going to try and cook one in the crockpot today. I found a recipe that I am hoping goes well. With something like this I don't want to go all free style with still learning to cook. I don't want to make my family sick and I don't really want to completely mess up a whole chicken. But as of right now things are going okay. I am hoping that they continue to improve. Both my skills and everyone's mood as well.

Are You A Stepford Wife

Congratulations! You are a blue-ribbon,
www.Stepfordwives.org-certified Stepford Wife. Self-fulfillment in life for you is to serve man.

80 other people got this result! That's 72%

Desperate Housewife

Well I took this quiz on which Desperate Housewife I am. I got Lynette. Which for the most part does fit I guess. The part that fits the most is that I am too wrapped up in taking care of others rather then taking the time to take care of me. I don't really set aside time for me. I am hell bent on making sure that I have everyone else taken care of first. Then at the end of the day, after everyone else is taken care of, there really isn't time for me. It's about time to crash out for the night. Last night was a night of sleeping on the couch for me. No I didn't do anything wrong. My Husband was watching a movie last night lying on the couch. Well, he ended up falling asleep. So I shut the TV off, shut down the computer, made sure his phone was charging, set the alarm on mine so I could get up in time to get him up for work, turned on the baby monitor, grabbed and extra blanket and went to sleep on the other section of the couch. It's one of those corner sectional couches. So my head was up by his. That is how I spent the night. I know I could have gone to bed, but honestly I really can't. I have a hard time sleeping without him there next to me. So I wouldn't have gotten even less sleep trying to go to bed in the bedroom. But I made sure that everything was ready and everything so that way when it was time for him to get up for work I wouldn't be running around this morning to work on it. The thing is, this morning he was talking about me going back to where my dad lives and his friends live and visiting everyone there, just me and the girls. He will more then likely have to work this weekend. But the thing about it is, we really can't afford for me to go visit everyone. If we have the extra money to get me and the girls there, then I would rather use the money to get the girls some presents for Christmas. As of right now, we have no presents for them from us, or from Santa. So if he is willing to spend the money to send us there, then why not pass up on going back to the hometown and get gifts for our own kids so they can have something to open on Christmas day? That would make more sense to me. Honestly it feels like he is more worried about his friends and stuff back home. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to visit everyone. But when he sends just me and the girls, I have to run around town with two kids by myself to everyone's place so they can see the kids. But I am so busy running around making sure that his friends and what not see them, that I never have time to visit with my friends and hardly see my dad while I am there. So I really don't want to go without him. So if he has to work this weekend and wants to spend the extra money that we can't afford to spend, then I say we spend it on the kids, rather then running around trying to visit everyone back home. But that's just my opinion I guess. But I suppose I should get something done today. Work on this house some more. I am making good progress on it to me anyway.

The Challenge Of Life

Since I got up this morning to make sure everything was ready for my Husband to get ready for work, I could tell it was going to be one of those days. There was just something that I could feel in my mind and gut that told me today was going to be a challenge. But that's what life it about, right? Challenges. But I have to hold my head up high and do what I have to do to make it through. When I turned on the TV this morning for my daughter to watch cartoons before school, I noticed that the satellite was shut off. So we have no TV anymore. Just movies now. But maybe that is a blessing in disguise. Maybe that will help us to do more together as a family rather then sit on our butts watching the TV. Maybe we could play one of the many Monopoly games that we own. My Husband has a thing about collecting Monopoly games. So we have a few different versions of the game. I am to transfer about $50 into my brother-in-law's account so he can put gas in his pickup, even though we don't have much money left really either. And what we do have has to get my Husband back and forth to work till the 1st when he gets paid again. Plus we still have not been able to get anything for the girls for Christmas. But at the very least I picked up a little candy. So that way they can have something in their stockings at the very least. But then, as I said, it's just one of those challenges of life I guess. I just have to keep a positive mind. Remind myself that everything will be fine and work out in the end. Today will just be a good day to work on this house really hard and get a lot done. There won't be the distraction of TV to sidetrack me. I just need to keep from getting side tracked with this, the computer and internet. But I can do it! Keep positive, stay motivated, don't let the mind worry. Everything will work out in it's own way. All I need to do is keep myself happy and positive and that will help in keeping the family happy and positive. Wash dishes, vacuum, wash a load of clothes, sweep, figure out an idea for supper and then I should have time to work on my apron today even. I just need to wake up first. My 8mo old daughter was up off and on all night last night, so I didn't get a lot of sleep. Maybe I can get her down for a nap after I drop my other daughter off at school and do my workout DVD. That might wake me up. Besides I need to get back into doing that when everyone is at work. I am self conscious working out in from of other people, even my husband. I always have this thought in my head that they are judging me or are going to make fun of me. I don't like that. So I just do it when everyone else is at work and it's just me or me and the kids.

A Successful Day So Far

Okay, so today has been a successful day so far. I got my errands done in town that I needed to. Talked to the lady at the bank without breaking down into tears. So I would say that went well. I did the little bit of grocery shopping done that I needed to do. Picked up some candy canes and a couple bags of candy for stocking stuffers. I want to at least be able to have something in the girls' stockings. After everything has gone through the account though, there really isn't enough left to get the girls Christmas presents and get gas for my Husband to get back and forth to work. So I am not sure how it's going to go on Christmas morning this year. But as my Husband always tells me all the time. Everything will work out somehow. So I am trying not to worry. I did get the tree put up today. I left the candy canes and the star for my 5 year old to put on. She was so happy and excited to put them on the tree. Now it's down to doing the dishes, finishing the laundry for the day and deciding on what to make for supper. I have been searching around to find recipes for something different to make. That is one thing that I am working on improving, my cooking skills. I was never really taught how to cook when I was younger. So I am kind of learning as I go now. I had the few things I knew how to make that I made all the time. Well, needless to say, my Husband and his brother are getting tired of the same things all the time. So I am trying to make different things. I have had ups and downs on the experimenting, but that's how it goes. But I should get going for now. Figure out what I am making for supper and wake up my Husband from his nap so he doesn't stay up all night.

Made It Through

Well yesterday went okay. I did manage to get some housework done, which is good. I really can't be slacking on that. I made a cake for my brother-in-law, and even made homemade frosting for it. The little store down the block didn't have any frostings that anyone here would eat. So I looked into making my own. I also made Chicken Dumpling soup for supper. For some reason it turned out more like stew then soup, but it worked. When my husband got home, the only thing he said about it was I should have added a little more water or something. But everyone lived. When it came to them trying the cake with my first time homemade frosting I was nervous. I had never made my own frosting before and to me it didn't look quite right when I was done and spread it on the cake. But my husband, who is the pickiest eater in the house said I did a good job. So I was happy about that. Today I have to run some errands in town after I drop my daughter off at school. I am not looking forward to talking to the one lady at the bank. My husband wants me to talk to her about seeing if we can skip the one loan payment this month. We are tight on money right now and every little bit helps. But I am not good at talking to people about things like that. So I am sure that I will tear up when I am talking to her about it. But if we can't I am not sure if we will be able to get ANY presents for our girls. I would like to be able to get them at least one a piece. But after I get home I am going to work on helping get the house in a little better spirits. I am finally allowed to decorate for Christmas today. My husband is not a big Christmas fan, so he said we had to wait to decorate till after his brother's birthday, which was yesterday. So today is the day that I can decorate. But I am going to have to end this post for now. I have to finish getting my daughter ready for school and get the other one and me ready to go into town. Wish me luck and I will post again later when I get a chance.

Slow Day

For anyone who read the previous post you know that things kind of went downhill last night after my husband got home from work. Well, my mood from yesterday kind of carried through to today. Plus my husband was a little snippy with me when he woke up this morning. Then calls me after he was on his way to work to tell me that I need to make a cake today for my brother-in-law. It's his birthday today. Yes I understand that it's his birthday and it's nice to get a cake and all. But this year no one here made me a cake. My mom came down to visit me and the girls and bought an already made cake the day after my birthday. Then last year there was no cake at all. The one that was supposed to be one of my best friends that was living with us at the time, didn't even remember my birthday till late that night after someone said something about it. That really hurt. So I am not in the best of moods today. With everything that has been going on lately, and the way I have been treated the past few days, I am basically in a depressed mood. So I am going to admit that I might not get much done today with the house. I am just not in the mood to do much today. I know, I know, part of being a good homemaker is to suck it up, put on a happy face and move on with the day. But I will admit that I am an emotional person. I cry easy even if I don't let people see it. My feelings can get hurt easy. I mean, I bust my butt every day all day long working on the house, taking care of the kids and doing just about everything that my husband and brother-in-law ask. And what do I get? My husband trying to act like a big man in front of his dad joking that our daughter listens about as well as her mother (she wasn't listening well that day). I know he wasn't meaning to be serious that I don't listen to him, but it still hurt to be told that I don't do what I am asked and don't listen when I do everything that is asked of me (withing reason). My husband used to notice when I would do a thorough cleaning of parts of the house and tell me that I did a good job and the house looks nice. But lately it's just snippy remarks and bad sarcasm and seeming almost as though he's been avoiding me. I don't like it. It makes me feel like I am doing something wrong. That I am messing up all the time somehow, in one way or another, or that I'm not doing a good enough job. I am going to try and suck it up and get more things done today, but I am not making any promises. I feel like crying right now honestly. But that's life I guess. I should get off here though and attempt to get something done today. Figure out what to make for supper and all.