Losing My Mind!

  Today has been a long day in just a little while this morning. Today is a lesson on how crappy your kids can make you feel. I might have had a little bit of a blow out with my girls today. When my husband tells them to do something they do it without complaining too much and they actually do it. When I tell them to do something they have to sit there and complain and pout and when it comes down to it, never end up doing it. Well I finally had enough today. I told them that they weren't allowed to watch TV or play with toys or anything until they can explain to me why they listen and do what Daddy says, but they won't do what I say. The only thing they could come up with is that I need to give them more consequences and be harder on them. I always tried not to be too hard on them because I don't want to be like my mom was.  Also when we had my Brother-in-law, his wife and their 3 kids all staying with us they kept telling my husband how I was being TOO hard on the kids. That I needed to figure out how to deal with them without being so hard on them. Well apparently that isn't working either. So now I am confused and need to figure out what everyone wants me to do. I am at my wits end and I am feeling really horrible about myself and trying to figure out how I can be a good mother when I can't even get my own kids to listen to anything I say? I feel like there is no reason for me to be here and be around when I can't even get my kids to listen to me or behave. I want to just curl up and hide for about a week and not have anyone asking why I didn't have the kids do the things they are supposed to and have anyone ignoring me. Just hide and do whatever I want.

Long day with SNOW

It has been a long day. I did work on the blanket a little bit, but I really didn't make much progress on much else today. It snowed and was crappy out all day and school got out early so it was a house full of kids and me and the Hubby. No real way for anyone to get out much today. So kids were just getting on my nerves. I am hoping that it's better out tomorrow so 2 out of 3 kids can be gone at school all day and the Hubby can go to work. Don't get me wrong I love my husband and my kids, but I need time without a houseful to do things that I need and want to do. I am really hoping that tomorrow goes better then today.

So Many Projects

Well, since I have been on here I have so many different projects going on all at once. I had a son about a year and a half ago and I started a blanket for him before he was born. Ya, needless to say it's not done yet. I am getting close though. I have become friends with the wonderful ladies of the church the kids go to Kids Club at, and one of them had a spare sewing machine that she let me borrow. So that helped me to make a lot of progress on it in a shorter period of time. Now if I can make the initiative to finish the last I need to do to finish before Christmas time. Time is running out on that one. So I need to really sit down and work on it when the kids go to bed and quit putting it off so much.

Starting up again

Okay I am going to try and start this up again. Hopefully one of these times I can keep up with this and not leave such long gaps in the posting on here. Wish me luck.

Extreme Apology

I want to let all of you who are followers that I am utterly sorry that there hasn't been any posts and updates on here in so long. We lost our internet services for quite awhile. But we have been able to get it back finally. Hopefully we will be able to keep it this time. My husband has had a lot of ups and downs with his employment status. But he has finally aquired an occupation that he is doing well at and doesn't mind so much. The down side of it is that he is gone all week long and comes home about every other weekend or so. So we don't get to see him that often. But we got him a laptop and a webcam for the computer here at the house and do video chats with him at night before our girls go to bed. That way they can see him as well as talk to him every night. I do have some news that we found out yesterday, I am expecting again. I will be due sometime around the 20th of April 2012. The girls are excited. My oldest is 7 years old now and has obviously gone through this once already. She just hopes it's a boy this time so she can have a brother. Our other daughter is only 2 years old, so she doesn't quite understand it all yet. But I think she will do fine. Right now I do have alot on my plate too. Since I am pregnant again I want to kick it up a notch on our little one's potty training. I would like to get her trained before the new baby gets here. Otherwise I am worried that she will fight it a lot with everything going on with a new baby in the house and everything. I am working on trying to get the house in decent order before I get too far along with me being high risk and everything. Hopefully if I can get it all done and put together around here it won't be too hard to keep up with it. With me being high risk pregnancy I am trying to take it easy and not over do it all, but it's not going to be easy with being the only one home with a 7 and 2 year old by myself most of the time. I just need to find someone to watch them for me when I have my appointments when my husband isn't home. Anyway I will attempt to get back into the swing of things on here now that we are up and running again. I hope that everyone out there is doing will and I will post again another time.

Alot On The Plate

I am still trudging along on the housework. I am going to be getting a little more wore out here in the next few days though. My Husband went to get our 9mo old out of her crib and noticed that there was a bottle in there with her. I know you really shouldn't give a baby a bottle to go to sleep with. But it's the one way that I can get a little extra sleep at night. I rock her to sleep, then if (I mean "when") she wakes up at night, then I would give her a bottle and she would got right back to sleep and therefore so could I. Well he found the bottle and said that we are not going to get her into that habit. She needs to learn that when it's bed time she needs to stay sleeping. But I hate to tell him, even without the bottle at night, she will still wake up at night. Which I don't completely understand with her anyway. She used to sleep through the night. But then when we started her on baby food and rice cereal along with the formula she started waking up at night again. I am not sure why, but she does. Either way, since we are not going to get her into the habit of getting a bottle at night after she's put to bed, I will be up alot more at night trying to get her back to sleep. Last night I think I was up about 4-5 times throughout the night. It was a little rough this morning at 5:30am when I had to get my Husband up and ready for work. But I suppose like everything else, I will eventually get used to it. One thing that I would like to work on for this summer is learning how to can and preserve things. I know my Husband likes to have a garden. But this last year, the slugs were bad for one, so we lost alot, and secondly we didn't get things eaten fast enough so it ended up having to be thrown out. So I want to look into canning and preserving things so we can actually keep them and use them when we need to instead of only a little bit and then having to throw the rest out. Plus it would cut down on groceries a little. There is just so much to do and so many things going through my head the past couple of days that I am not sure how to manage it all. I am kind of to the point of just being out of it lately. I zone out alot. My Husband kept asking me last night, if I was okay, or if there was something wrong. There really isn't anything "wrong" persay, it's just that there is so much going on and so much to do that I am going into robot stage. I am expected to remember everything and take care of everything. So it all falls on my shoulders. Then my Husband and his brother that lives with us, will talk to each other about things that effect the whole house and I am not included in the conversations till they are done talking and have things figured out. Then I get told what I am going to be doing. It's almost as though I don't have much of a say in what I do. I don't know, it's just alot on my plate and not alot of options right now. Just kind of do what I can and keep going I guess.

Catching Up Slowly

Well I have been slowly working on things and the house is getting a little better and staying that way longer then it used to. I was hoping to have a little more time with the Husband this weekend, but of course that's not going to happen. We got to spend a little bit of time together today. But not much. But he did spend a decent amount of time with our 5 year old, which is good. They don't get to spend much time together either. But tomorrow he will be getting up early in the morning to go and help his brother and his dad out with some hauling thing that they're doing. So we won't really see him tomorrow. But I suppose I can use that time to get stuff done around the house here with him being gone. As long as I don't let myself get distracted too much. That's one of my biggest problems. I get distracted easily when no one else is here at times. I spend too much time on Facebook, or CafeMom, or sitting around watching episodes of Desperate Housewives. But I am getting better though. I do manage to shut it off part way through an episode and get moving on working on the house. Hopefully I can get better at not screwing up too. I have been doing that alot lately. I somehow managed to lose 2 black hills gold lockets that my Husband and my 5 year old had given to me a couple different Christmas'. I am not sure how I managed to lose them, but I did. They aren't where I remember putting them last and I haven't been able to find them yet. My Husband told me not to get too worked up about it because there are alot more important things then necklaces. But I can't help but feel bad about it. Then I made some flavored coffee in the coffee maker and didn't wash it out good enough I guess. Because when he went to drink his coffee this morning he could taste a little of the flavoring in it. Then here, just a min ago he asked me to make him some more koolaid. Well, he likes the orange koolaid, only a little less strong then most. Well I couldn't make it the way we usually do because I accidentally grabbed Tang last time I went to get some instead of orange koolaid. I just can't seem to do much right lately. Hopefully things start to get better. Wish me luck.